Systemic rot setting in

"Everyone has a right to be stupid but some misuse this privilege" And I certainly seem to be misusing this a lot off late.

I have not written for quite sometime apparently not written since Muhammad Kaif scored a double century in tests or since Mamta Kulkarni won a national award for acting ( Not sure if either of this ever took place). But now I am coming to point as to what are so charming thoughts that are keeping me awake at this hour of midnight when most of the gentlemen on planet sleep peacefully preferably in their cosy homes.
With 20% MBA literally in the pocket and another 10% is work in progress, I am feeling lots of changes around in my class and in myself as well. ( time for heavy philosophy - outside augments the inside - marketing maha jargon).
During the orientation on May end, I interacted with some folks and saw a glint for something to be achieved which was nobler than posing on page 3 holding empty wine glass. The atmosphere in the I term was palpably different. People were still unearthing the IIM system and seeking their own fit in it. Soon things started to change. There came carrot of grading and thus began the journey of -know the system and .... it the way you want.

Personally for a simple subject like microeconomics - I read two text books ( approximately full), irrespective of syllabus and course etc, solved most of problems as if I am going to make a career out of the subject. And my grades were around 3.4, just about average. Then came Macroeconomics - This time I did not touch a line other than the one taught by teacher treating the other sections like untouchable and scored 3.81, not bad - better value for money I would say. This itself is an example of how self-defeating this is going to be. My result for I and II terms are quite opposite, much lesser the effort and much better the result.

I mean, I was never in the race, and thought to work, read the things for which I have joined this course. The gaps which I have felt, certainly not the marks.
Its not that I am being a saint or something or saying to hell with grades. No hell not, being placed in bottom in any setting can wreck the self-confidence sometimes. But the larger point is did I join this program for grades. If I make best of grades by dedicating all my effort to just maximize the marks, what will I achieve really? Will it be justice with myself?

I have seen the trend of discussion changing since I term. In first terms I saw groups discussing the content amongst themselves even when the teacher left. Now apart from absolute minority hung up with prof, majority is discussing anything but remotely subject content. The frequency of words like quiz, marks, exam, syllabus, date of exam, easy/tough etc keeping popping up at alarming rate.
I was surprised that recently when a teacher of quant offered the last session for generally questions about overall contents of course, not a single question was about the subject ( absolute zero), but all the discussion was about how easy or difficult the exam should be, with teacher also encouraging the trend. I was feeling aghast and wanted to say " set whatever paper you want" but....
Recently in the campus there was a talk by Dr Raja Birava Murthy about IT future in India for next decade. A Harvard and LSE veteran researcher sharing his thoughts in a classroom like interactive environment when easily he could get the CEO lending ears to him, and attendees from our class or other batches were a handsome single digit. People must be really busy, no wonder.
Anyways I am not blaming anyone here, I first tried to co relate with myself and then sensed, is really the systemic rot of rat race is catching up with people. Are short term objectives are blinding people of longer term goals. I do not see much talks of entrepreneurship or ventures or writing papers, national or international competitions etc some other collaborative stuff but as a placeholders the air is filled with distant and cheaper replacements.

I felt yes, at least with me, the rot is setting in. And this feeling in itself is so horrific to me that it has kept me awake at this hour when I see my grades in term II as ( 3.81, 3.70, 3.8) with barely any learning or contribution which I would cherish for a long time, I feel I have started cheating myself probably yet again.

I feel first education is by compulsion when you have to get place to hang on. You parents just want you to be on your own. You remain largely ignorant of your passions. life goes on.
But II education is mostly by choice. When I leave fairly cushy work at office ( better then many MBA graduates), when I leave my family and esp my two and half year old son at home behind, when I forgo the option to enjoy the life beyond office cubes and walk to classroom despite running a fever at 102 degrees, I think to myself what is the true return. Grades ?